Doggorloader Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 Different degrees of blondeness FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear." SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief She takes the gun and puts it to her head The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware." SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bountyhunter Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 Beautiful blonde goes to Home Depot and applies for a job as a sales clerk. The manager says she has to pass the test on hardware. He hands her a ten penny nail and asks her what it is: She stares at it for a while and gives up. "It's a nail." He said. "Darn... I should have known that." she said. So, he hands her a wood screw and asks her what it is. She stares at it and gives up. "It's a screw." he said. "Darn... I should have known that." she said. Then he hands her a carriage bolt and asks her what it is. She gives up. "It's a bolt." he says. "Wait a minute!" she says. "That's totally unfair. How could I be expected to know that. I've never been bolted." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GRD Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in the waiting room at the OB/GYN's office, all three pregnant. The doc comes out to talk to the brunette and asks her if she wants to know the sex of her baby. The brunette says, "Sure" The doc asks her "What position were you and your husband in when the baby was conceived, what sexual position?" The brunette says "Well..uh...just the normal, you know, missionary position." "Congratulations, your going to have a boy!" Says the doc. Seeing the other women are interested, he asks the redhead the same question. "Well, I was on top, doc." "Ahhh, a girl for you!" Just then the blonde breaks down and starts sobbing. The doc moves over to her and asks "What's the matter? Why are you crying" She blurts out "I'm gonna have puppies!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainman Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 Barbie says: Enough of the blonde jokes already!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Don't SHOOT Barbie! Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Homer says,"You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 3 Good ones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Roe vs. Wade...! BWAHAHAHA...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I liked them all.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I liked them all.... Tightloop, I too don't turn blondes away, but I prefer brunettes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Brunettes are my personal fav...my sweetie is a brunette.....but I don't limit my enjoyment of women to those with certain hair color....I try to enjoy them all...they all have that certain something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Brunettes are my personal fav...my sweetie is a brunette.....but I don't limit my enjoyment of women to those with certain hair color....I try to enjoy them all...they all have that certain something... Tightloop I take it as my duty to not turn any down, ya never know when one has a talent that you have NEVER experienced before , thus, I am pretty open minded to hair color. I just have a preference for dark hair! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Now, if only the GUYS would get over this 'shaved head' craze...! It's just NOT SEXY...!! ...IMHO... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Now, if only the GUYS would get over this 'shaved head' craze...! It's just NOT SEXY...!! ...IMHO... But it sure is easy to maintain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJPoLo Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Now, if only the GUYS would get over this 'shaved head' craze...! It's just NOT SEXY...!! ...IMHO... Ouch! -Chet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 works for you Chet..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Chet is perhaps, then, a low-maintenance kinda guy...? (Actually that's a great pic.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I don't Bic my dome, but cut it down to a 3 on top and a 2 on the sides and back. It started out as a motorcycle thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I LOVE the shaved head with goatee look! I think it really makes you focus on the guys personality! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 I wanna run my hands thru something and grab it, by god!! (No wise ass remarks here, either!) Essential question: Would you (guys) be attracted to a bald WOMAN........?....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 I wanna run my hands thru something and grab it, by god!! (No wise ass remarks here, either!) Essential question: Would you (guys) be attracted to a bald WOMAN........?....... umm, I have hair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 I wanna run my hands thru something and grab it, by god!! (No wise ass remarks here, either!) Essential question: Would you (guys) be attracted to a bald WOMAN........?....... You can grab my back hair any time. Depends on the woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Depends on whats bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Saw the smoke of this one comming miles away.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 I was refering to the hair on my head! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Depends on whats bald. As an extension, to quote Dr. Evil: "There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking—I highly suggest you try it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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