As Clean As Cold Water Can Get Them

[ErikW]

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded

rural area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather

prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.

He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his

grandfather, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied,

"Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and

finish your meal."

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for

lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a

substance that looked like dried egg yokes so he asked again, "Are

you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says, "I told

you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now

don't ask me about it anymore!"

Later that afternoon, as he was on his way out to get the paper, the

dog started to growl and would not let him pass.

"Grandfather, your dog won't let me out."

Without diverting his attention from the football game his Grandfather

was watching, he shouted, "Coldwater, "Move!"

[Stu Love]

LOL.. Erik, I like your sense of humor.. reminds me of the one where a guy broke down on an old country road one evening. Had to walk miles from his truck, tired and hungry, and finally reached an old farmhouse which he hoped had a telephone he could use to call a buddy. As he approached the porch and knocked on the door, he saw an old beagle nearby casually gnawing on a bone. Soon a little old lady opened the door. He explained his dilemma and asked to borrow her phone. She kindly invited him in and he called a friend to come get him. An hour passed, still his friend had not arrived, and he was getting hungrier. He couldn't bring himself to ask the poor lady for some food since he felt he was imposing on her somewhat already. There was a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table that looked mighty good to him. Finally she asked if he was thirsty, "Oh yes, thanks- water, tea, anything cold." As she went into the kitchen, he grabbed some peanuts and thought how delicious they were, and grabbed several more handfuls. Then she reappeared with the water and he felt embarrassed for getting caught gobbling them. "Oh, no," she said, "You go on right ahead and eat all a' them you can, 'cause I ain't got no teef an' all I can do is suck the chocolate off of 'em."