Our Local County Workers...

[SiG Lady]

1.. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

>

> AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked

> intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

> Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

>

> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

>

> Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a

> gunman

> who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas

> canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in

> the

> police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

>

> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

>

> An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced

> him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the

> kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

>

> 4. THE GETAWAY!

>

> A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money

> in the cash drawer Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the

> store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police

> showed up and grabbed him.

>

> 5. DID I SAY THAT???

>

> Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just

> couldn't control himself during a lineup When detectives asked each man in

> the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot,"

> the

> man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

>

> 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

>

> A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her

> contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the

> doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

>

> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

>

> In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to

> hold

> up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a

> finger to simulate a gun, but fortunately, he failed to keep his hand in

> his pocket (hellllllooooooo!)

>

> 8. THE GRAND FINALE

>

> Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour

> east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a

> problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new

> 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no

> matter

> how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go,

> they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them

> what

> was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect

> working

> condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the

> prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in

> the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was

> laughing

> so hard.

>

>

> NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE....Under the boat, still strapped securely in

> place, was the trailer.