I've read your question but I'm not 100% clear what exactly you are asking. If you are asking what is the "proper" way to deal with recoil, then this is what I've settled on in my journey. And I am far, far from an expert. I will assume you are using the correct stance, posture and hand positions on the gun.
1. No one is stopping recoil, you are managing recoil.
2. Your firing hand should grip the gun just enough so it doesn't move around in your hand. This way you maximize your ability to run the trigger faster.
3. Your support hand should basically grip the gun as hard as you can but you don't want to grip so hard that the gun is shaking in your hand. You probably think you are gripping hard, but it's still probably not enough.
4. Lock both wrists evenly. Uneven locking will lead to the gun recoiling towards the side with less wrist lock.
5. Your hands and wrists should do all of the work, not your arms, shoulders, pecs, etc.
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