nvmichael

Are you Cool? I still have it, do you? This test is based on how cool you were in High School... What crowd you ran with, what car you drove, who you dated, etc. It's pretty accurate. You may want to send it to your friends to see if they've changed. Cool Person Test http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm

Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Pennsylvania on the opening day of deer gun season. They both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone. The other hunter exclaimed, “Wow! That was the most sportsman-like act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!” The first hunter nodded and said, “Well.....we were married for 42 years.”

SIGN IN A PHILADELPHIA STORE WINDOW "WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN SOLDIER!" This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia . You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement!! However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign. You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign.. Answer: A Funeral Home (Who said morticians have no sense of humor?)

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour. And they continue to walk among us...even Down Under! __________________________________________________ Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden ) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. ________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK ) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? _________________________________________________ Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. _________________________________________________ Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA ) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. __________________________________________________ Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA ) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. __________________________________________________ Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA ) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. __________________________________________________ Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy ) A: Yes, gay night clubs. __________________________________________________ Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France ) A: Only at Christmas. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Better than a Flu Shot! Miss Beatrice , The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, The young minister Noticed a cut glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled With water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned With tea and scones, They began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. ' Miss Beatrice ', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through The Park a few months ago And I found this little package on the ground. The directions said To place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 3 illegitimate children. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Blondes A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!" "Very good," said her mother.. "Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked. "Yes, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, It's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 C's. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "No, Honey, Its because you're 27 ."

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?' They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. 'Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.' Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home.' 'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife.. 'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher. ******************************** *************************** Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp. 'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender. 'Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight,' says Paddy. 'That little O'Conner,' says Sean, 'He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.' 'That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it.' 'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?' That I did,' said Paddy, 'Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was; but useless in a fight.' ************************************************************ An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?' 'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk. 'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.' 'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile. 'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?' 'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.' ************************************************************** Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?' She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.' The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?' She says, 'That he did, Father.' The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?' She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that damn gun...' ************************************************************** AND THE BEST FOR LAST A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night For all lovers of good writing, here are this year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, (aka It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Contest) run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University, wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel. 10 As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it. 9 Just beyond the Narrows , the river widens. 8 With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, un blemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description. 7 Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: “Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.” 6 Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved. 5 Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store. 4 Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do. 3 Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor. 2 Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word “fear”; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies. AND THE WINNER IS..... 1 The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, “You lied!”

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES: • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for unch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. • If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT: • When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY: • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS: • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ... • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS: • A woman has the last word in any argument. • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE: • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS: • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. • A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE: • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP: • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL: • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING: • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Comments made in the year 1955! That's only 54 years ago! 'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00. 'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one. 'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. 20 cents a pack is ridiculous. 'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter 'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store. 'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage. 'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it. 'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas. 'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President. 'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now. 'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays.. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. 'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work. 'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business. 'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government. (Now we are hoping that ALL they will take is 50 percent!!!) 'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on. 'There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel. 'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.' 'If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'

Enjoy the ride; There is no return ticket (It's old, But still very funny & true) George Carlin's Views on Aging Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the gr eatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But! Wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into ! Your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.' Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

SKEET SHOOT, Bet you can't play just once... http://www.samsung.com/au/samsungu900/game/

BOB & THE BLONDE Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again.." Bob took the money....

They look like the 122 gr fp Meister which I bought a while ago (was a great deal). The only thing I did not like was you have to seat them deep. The grease grove is up pretty high. They shot great. Everyone's lookin for primers! Me too.

I see that Solo 1000 works very well with 147 lead bullets. I'm going to try that combo. My question is, does Solo 1000 work with jacketed bullets? Weights of 125gr and 147gr. Also does it work well with 125gr lead? I'm only looking for light (mouse fart) loads. Thanks

Thanks everyone. These are great! I'm shoppin' Michael

I have a range bag that has no Magazine Holders, or Magazine Pouch. Do you know anyone that sell these as a separate item? I would like to get a removable magazine pouch that holds 6 to 8 magazines for the range bag. Thanks

http://mithuro.com/presscuefiles/january/beer_goggle.swf

Thanks Everyone For the very informative answers and education. At the end of the segment he shot at a 10"? plain cardboard target at 10 yards "Blindfolded" with his 686. He did this with 1 reload and put all shots in about a 6" circle in about 2 seconds. And that gun looked like it did not move. Working on my grip Michael

I caught the end of Jerry Micelik shooting on the History channel the other night and wow is he fast. He was shooting a 1911 and a 686 and it looked like he was shooting machine guns. In slow motion it looked like the muzzles were barely rising. My question is why? I know load, gun weight and strength all play a part. But this was just mind boggling. It looked like recoil was non existent. I shoot Clays and have a tungsten guide rod and my muzzle still jumps. Tell me the Secret!

Amazon has a deal on them... http://www.amazon.com/Milwaukee-49-17-3100...&pf_rd_i=20

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Precision Delta. Very Good bullets and good people to deal with.

I use 3.3grs with Zero 147HPs. Nice load. If I use Hornady 147s I have to increase to 3.4 so the action will cycle. I always try to use 1.150 OAL.

Thank you for the replys. I'm takin' it out!