About #2
COL is nothing more than an external measurement of a finished cartridge. Seat depth is determined by what will run in your gun or possibly other factors such as trying to increase pressures or even reduce the powder charge and still maintain the same pressures/velocity. Bullet shape is the primary determining factor of COL. I doubt there is a gun out there that will use the same COL for all bullet types.
About #3...
Every load manual I have or have data from (Sierra, Hornady, Speer, Nosler, Western Powder, Vihta Vouri, Alliant etc ) all mention specific bullets by brand in the