[Springfield XDM 9mm]

I was originally looking to buy an XD40 Tactical but then happened upon the XDM9 which I ulitmately bought. THe XDM slide is tapered towards the top and give a more "streamlined" look & feel. The biggest plus to me was that the XDM has 3 changeable backstraps to vary the size of the grip which made the gun fit and feel better. The grip is also more textured than the XD. The XD has a 5" barrel compared the 4.5" of the XDM.

[Ruger SR9 or Springfield XD M?]

I think you're talking apples and oranges. Something that my wife would use for matches would be a full sized gun. Concealed carry would be much more compact. Concealing a full sized handgun is hard enough for a man to do.I bought her a LDA 9 for carry, she loves it. But for matches she shoots the M&P with the small back strap on it. She likes the feel of my xdm/9 but I keep telling her, "that's my toy, that's my toy"

I bought the XDM9, love it. I like the changeable backstrap.