Jump to content
Brian Enos's Forums... Maku mozo!

My ego-busting breakup


Patrick Sweeney

Recommended Posts

OK, it isn't even vaguely shooting related, but in light of Jake's breakup, and Tightloop insisting that I tell my tale, I'll tell as much as decency and good manners allow. I was, at the time, living the great life:

I was working in radio, in a University town. The station was an "old farts" format, basically make up the music format as we went along, before the Farm Report each day. But it was radio, and status. I was living in town, on the edges of "studentville" one of the neighborhoods devoted to student rentals. A target-rich environment.

I was working as a paid test subject at the U, in auditory and visual perception. Did you know that even early in IPSC, practical shooting improved visual perception far in excess of even the semi-pro student athletes? The Herr Doktor Professor who was running the lab had to re-write the program to up the speed.

I spend each morning walking to the lab, getting breakfast, coffee and croissants on the way. My bakery gets a new counter-person. She's built, tall, reddish-blond, and she likes me. We spend several months doing the town. She taught me to do the latest (In the early 1980s) dances. She was inventive, adventurous and even a bit odd in matters of the bedroom. (And the living room, bathroom, garage, car, but you get the idea.)

I'm one happy camper. Money, status, new car, entertainment and companionship.

Then things change. She says to me one day "Kristy is back in town." Like I'm supposed to know what that means, since this is the first time I've ever heard the name. "She wants to get back together." My confusion increases: Business partner? Lab partner? Study partner? "I'm going to move back in with her." The world crashes down. "I guess then I won't be needing two tickets to the concert next week?" "No, Kristy thinks anything not Punk is shjt, and wouldn't go if I asked." (I noticed the "I" and not "We" right away.)

"Fine, when do you want to pick up your stuff?" "Keep it, Kristy isn't interested in lingerie."

Once the true enormity of it hit me, I went on a week-long bender. The Program Director of the station either didn't notice or didn't care, which gave a me a whole lot of information once I thought about it. A couple of months later, I happened to see them in a student-oriented music club. Holy Cow! Kristy was a leather punk, just short of a dominatrix, (or maybe not short at all) and apparently had a whole stable of cutie college girls who doted on her. "Moving in" meant scheduled weekly visits! I didn't know whether to call the cops or ask for advice on how to franchise.

I spent a lot more time after that reloading ammo and getting range time in, and the result of that was lots of loot at Second Chance. So, thanks Jennifer for the boot to Master Blaster, writing and now full-time gunwriter fame.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Patrick...

That is certainly Some tale....

Without getting into the nitty gritty, I too have had a female companion who was into whips/chains/handcuffs/blindfolds/etc...very strange indeed...I rather enjoyed all the differences compared to conventional bedroom activities, and enjoyed her company till one day she mentioned that she had tried to KILL her X with a hammer because she thought he was running around on him...not just once, but twice she tried to kill him....

After her second unsuccessful attempt, she divorced him...he never pressed charges on her...(ahhhh, true love)....and later after we had gone our separate ways, I learned that I was just a boy toy to try to convince her female partner to return to her after they had a spat...

Also a very strange gal...

:P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

zhunter

And those three rules for dating are:...........

Ah, Tightloop, I knew someone would ask!!!

Rule #1) Must be 35 or older ( Lots of reasons, and that would be an entire new and long post)

Rule #2) I prefer "enhanced", um, cough, ah, how do I put this, um, breasts

Rule #3) I ONLY date girls that like girls

And that is the list! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

CONTINUING THE HIJACK

I guess the new Forum software will now allow direct posting of the pics of some of these "Ladies" with there "enhanced" attributes visible.... :rolleyes: I would suppose it would probably be best that we don't see your entire collection!

zhunter

And those three rules for dating are:...........

Ah, Tightloop, I knew someone would ask!!!

Rule #1) Must be 35 or older ( Lots of reasons, and that would be an entire new and long post)

Rule #2) I prefer "enhanced", um, cough, ah, how do I put this, um, breasts

Rule #3) I ONLY date girls that like girls

And that is the list! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Then there was a different Jennifer. She didn't like girls, but she was almost as tall as I am and really trim. She was also in the first class at West Point to accept women. One time she decides that we really, really had to go to the coolest bar in town, called "The Flame." It had the best single-malts at good prices, the best music on the jukebox, and was the only "known" gay bar in town.

It was just down the block from the radio station, but I didn't go there much 'cause I didn't need the attention and I certainly didn't need a date. At that time, in the cold midwest in the winter, everyone wore jeans and a plaid flannel shirt. That's what we were both wearing when we went in.

After a drink, she gets up and goes into the Ladies room. The bartender drifts by and says "He's new, so tell him when he gets out to use the men's room next time." I thought it was funny, but she didn't. I thought she was going to flash the bartender to prove him wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well zhunter

I understand #1, I too like women who have enought maturity to not say everything is HOT like the tramp Paris Hilton...

I have to comment on #2...you like enhanced ones because you never found anyone with the natural attributes which compare to the enhanced ones??? OK, then.....just have fun with those store bought ones, cause when you marry a gal and she starts to have real problems with the store bought kind, you might rethink your stance on this one...and they not only don't look the same, they don't even begin to feel the same...LOL

And finally lets discuss #3....do you just ask them up front if they are Bi, or what...bet that is a real ice breaker at parties..."....say, I would like to date you, are you bisexual???".....and bet that this is also a very long and detailed post....

You ought to be able to find some of those on the LPGA or the women who play pro tennis.... B)

Keep us informed.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

TL, you're killin' me man!!!

As for #2, my current has, um, cough, fake ones that NO ONE can tell the difference, either by looking or, um, cough, feeling!

As for #3, it takes me about 10 minutes to get the answer! 15 if they are a hard case!

Example #1:

ZH:"Do you have a Boyfriend?

Chick at Party: "No"

ZH: "Really, how about a Girlfriend then?" ( Kind of in a tongue in cheek manner)

Chick at Party: "No, um, what are you talking about?"

ZH: "I think I need another beer, would you like one too? NO, ok, I will see you in a bit then."

Example #2

ZH:"Do you have a Boyfriend?

Chick at Party: "No"

ZH: "Really, how about a Girlfriend then?" ( Kind of in a tongue in cheek manner)

Chick at Party: "Not right now."

ZH: "Cool, I love chicks that like girls! How long have you been into girls?"

yadda yadda yadda

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay....I can remain silent no longer

<_<

So, I am learning WAY more about you all then I ever thought I would, heck, then I think I want to! Don't be surprised if I snicker should I ever meet any of you at a match. Patrick started out alright but to give a definition, this thread has devolved into locker talk...Far, far outside the realm of anything to do with shooting. As a matter of fact, this just might be the MOST off topic thread I have ever read. Well, okay, Lozenges comes in a close second. While it is somewhat amusing (the way men think), I just want to remind you that there is a small contigent of female BE members. Now I'm not a prude (I grew up in SoCal and my high school WAS Ridgemont High, 'nuff said) but this would be one of those Kathryn Hepburn moments. Either I have to say something to bring you all back to civilization or I make a thread for the ladies. I'm wondering long about now what you all would think of a thread entitled, "Men we love and wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers."

The problem with creating a thread like that is two fold. Since none of you have had the benefit of being in a female locker room, let me enlighten you as to the usual banter. If women talk about men, they don't generalize. They are incredibly specific. I mean absolutely gory, specific details about various men, their glories or their short comings. Since that surely would be outside the bounds of good taste, it can't be posted. Secondly, a watered down version - not too disimilar to this thread - would only impune the character of the author as well as any women replying to it. While people talk equality all day long, I know this just isn't the case when it comes to matters that are sexual or off color in nature.

So I guess I'm stuck trying to make you adhere to the guidelines of gentlemanly behaviour...here goes...<Kate Hepburn voice> What would your mother think? Would you tell these stories to you mother? If it doesn't pass the mom test, then maybe you should think twice about posting it....!!

Ah, I feel a bit better....maybe this should have been fodder for a hate rant???

:P:D

girlfriends, you better have my back!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ShooterGrrl started a Men We Love rebuttal topic. Knock yourself out.

And just to keep this thread about shooting, stage 1 at the SMM3G had this start position: laying on bed, handcuffed to bedpost, with a lingerie-clad, whip-wielding, leather-hatted mannequin nearby.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ShooterGrrl started a Men We Love rebuttal topic. Knock yourself out.

And just to keep this thread about shooting, stage 1 at the SMM3G had this start position: laying on bed, handcuffed to bedpost, with a lingerie-clad, whip-wielding, leather-hatted mannequin nearby.

Nice job :D

In response to the "gentlemanlyness", I did aska fellow forum member about my post, and he seemed to think it was on the just barely side of "OK".

Anyway, the more detailed portions have been communicated via PM's so as not to offend anyone!

In response to women's locker room talk, I have been told by various lady friends, and the details are amazing. Women show NO shame in the locker room.

Funny thing, men will give details about a girlfriend, but NEVER a wife, while women are just the opposite! :wacko: GO FIGURE! <_<

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really wasn't offended. My post was more tongue in cheek. What gripes me is the inevitable labeling that would happen if a woman posted the same rules for bedding a guy. As to women discussing their hubbies; alas, I have to confess it's true. Women will get incredibly specific with each other about their men whether they are married to them or only dating. To explain, it's a sort of a bonding thing to share details and generally isn't meant to show any disrepect. It's definitely against the rules to tell a guy the details about another guy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...