dajarrel Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 (edited) Merlin, Buddy.... You KNOW that the first liar doesn't have a chance...and besides, you suffer fromWMD, no rhythm, can't jump, and got a short one... Well, TL - you might have got two of em right.... Regards, Merlin "Bankwalker" Orr aka DonkeyBoy Would this qualify as an add-on to Merlin's persona? "Patron Saint of the Humor Forum, aka DonkeyBoy" ??? dj Edited June 30, 2006 by dajarrel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Apparently he would like us to THINK so..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 (edited) TL . Pm sent. Dajarrel... Donkeybrain or Donkey breath might be a better choice... Edited June 30, 2006 by Merlin Orr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genghis Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Would this qualify as an add-on to Merlin's persona?"Patron Saint of the Humor Forum, aka DonkeyBoy" Donkeys are sometimes referred to as jack*sses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Would this qualify as an add-on to Merlin's persona?"Patron Saint of the Humor Forum, aka DonkeyBoy" Donkeys are sometimes referred to as jack*sses. Words from someone who actually knows me....hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruStreet Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 (edited) Never fry bacon while naked................. Or Iron (Steam) your Clothes.... Edited July 1, 2006 by TruStreet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Merlin No PM...forget to click the send button... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crusher Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Playing right field on a short fenced field (not our normal field). Ran like the wind to get that high fly ball in my space. I never made it and was out cold for the next 3-4 minutes. Some told me it looked like a "Monty Python" wall hit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 That's gotta hurt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robomanusa Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Never throw darts at anything except dart boards.....see this thread http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...st&p=283880 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markcic Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Never believe that your dad has correctly tightened the quick release front wheel on your first shiny new mountain bike you get as a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Never believe that your dad has correctly tightened the quick release front wheel on your first shiny new mountain bike you get as a kid. Back in the sixties, the Stingray style bicycle was the rage. I was a wheelie addict and whenever I rode mine around the neighborhood it was pretty much on the rear tire. Forgot to tighten the axle nuts after fixing a front tire flat once. Pulled it up onto my obligatory wheelie and suddenly found myself steering a unicycle as the front rolled off on it's own ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Whoa... That might've felt a little like the day I was whizzing around town in my MGA and the gear shift came off in my hand....... I honestly don't remember what happened next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mooney Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 I ONCE made the mistake of not checking a new-to-me mechanic's work. He'd been in business for a while, too. Lug nuts flying off my (former) lifted Blazer @ 50mph = very akward stop + flop. This less than 15 miles after he worked on it. The look on his face when 275 pounds of me came flying through the door and over the counter was worth the lesson though. "..but I didn't take the wheels off..." says he. "It's the first instruction- Support vehicle with jack stands and remove front tires" says I.... Now I just try to do it myself, and if I can't- I watch (and double check EVERYTHING'S tightness). Kinda brings back memories of the DEA video "I'm the only one professional enough..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 There's a whole bunch of stuff I don't ever want to do the second time. Without taking 4 paragraphs to explain what kind of kid I was at 13 years of age and how I've learned to respect people's differences since then, I think I can pretty safely say that I'll never again blast a dirt bike through the middle of a late-night religious ceremony where the attendees have placed strange symbols on the ground and are dancing naked around a bon-fire chanting unintelligible mantras. A few days later the word on the street was that there had been some sort of death hex placed upon us after the ceremony re-conviened. (hasn't kicked in yet.) Anyway, we really didn't mean any disrespect, we actually thought it was just a Klan rally until we realized that we were the only ones wearing any clothes. And I swear on a stack of ...... Well,...I guess that won't do will it? Anyways, I'm sorry and I'll never do it again. I promise. I wish I could promise the same for my buddy Dan. (yeah that was him on the back of the bike) But, I have'nt seen him in probably 30 years but I suspect that unlike me, he may still be something of a smart ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDave Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 break a blind guy's cane jump the railroad crossing that has the middle of a busy highway as your landing area spend 4 hours on a roof because your ladder blew off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genghis Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Remembered this one while enjoying a 4th of July gathering. My brother and I went to a similar gathering at a friend's house on the lake. Lots of Jaycees there, and I knew every one. They had a set of Lawn Jarts. These are big darts used to play a game just like Horseshoes, but the target is a plastic ring a few feet around, laid on the ground. Stick one inside the ring and you get a point. Well, we decided that wasn't exciting enough. Looked like much more fun for one of us to stand with a foot in the other guy's ring. One point for sticking a dart inside the ring. One point to the other guy if he keeps his foot inside the ring and doesn't lift it off the ground while the other guy's dart lands. Five points for catching the other guy's dart. I won. Tried to snatch the dart out of the air. Turned my hand over with the dart sticking out of the middle of my palm. Had to twist it to pull it out of the bone. I think all the Jaycees thought I was an *sshole for walking by them without shaking their hands. They didn't see the blood dripping between my fingers. But at least I didn't have to hear any of them say, "I told you so." Because they had told me so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benos Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 Pulled it up onto my obligatory wheelie and suddenly found myself steering a unicycle as the front rolled off on it's own ;-) Fortunately, I just happened to be looking at my buddy's face as he popped a wheelie and the right half of his apehangers snapped off at the bend. Man, was that a great wipe out. But he managed to top it a few months later. We were both cruising down the street on our new 10 speeds, no hands. There's a hot chick walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street, coming from the opposite direction. (I can barely type I'm laughing so hard.) So my buddy's got his head swiveled 90 degrees to the left, arms dangling at his sides, really giving her the look - when he plows full tilt onto the hood of a parked car. That had to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Here's another good one involving Sting Rays and apehangers. My neighbor/friend decided it would be a good idea to build a ramp, on the sidewalk, to do some jumps with his brand new Sting Ray. So we put down a couple cinder blocks and lay about a 6 foot long 2 x 8 onto them. He comes flying down the sidewalk, hits the ramp, and does the fastest front end endo I've ever seen - snapping his collarbone. And for some reason, those reminded me of a great one, from the old (mechanic) shop days. Me, Rondy, and Jeff are doing our early morning routines, getting ready to open up, when Rondy remembers he hasn't drained the water from the compressor in a while. So he gets a wrench, wedges himself down under the compressor in the dirt and dust, and starts unscrewing the drain bolt from the bottom of the tank. He slowly looks up at me and Jeff, then turns his head back under the tank as the screw is just ready to come out, when "buuusssshhhh" - 125 lbs of air and water comes blasting out, instantaneously covering his face with dirt and water. Holy crap was that funny. Not only did it scare the living bejesus out of him (and us too) - the look on his face was priceless. (Normally, we'd drain the air at night after we shut down the power.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 I was about four, my brother was two years older. He's good with his hands even at that age. With a narrow branch from a tree and a piece of string he fashioned himself a crude bow. An aluminium rod that he found in the garden shed would function as an arrow. I of course was smarter, I told him it would never work. He pointed it right at my head and told me to move out of the way so he could shoot. I told him, No. He said if you don't move I'll shoot you. I said "Go ahead..." So the docter at the hospital said the cut in my head wasn't quite deep enough to require stitches, but it bled all over the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 (edited) Never try to stab an armadillo to death with your brother holding the tail and his foot on top of the tail to steady the dilla...I was about 10 and just as I stabbed the critter, he jumped and my brother had 22 stitches in his right calf...the doctors at the Er in Conroe knew us by our first name...when Dr. Caroll came out, the first thing he asked was did we get the dilla...LOL Oh and BTW...never try to pull up a piece of barbed wire which is mostly buried in the dirt while riding your pretty fractious horse...my brother had 14 stitches in his left hand thru his glove, doing that one.. And one final...never try to shoot the neighbors bull at the base of the horn with your .22 when the bull is tossing his head...you might miss and hit the bull in the head... Lost out .22 priviledges for the summer for that one...... Edited July 6, 2006 by tightloop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Jeez, is it even POSSIBLE to stab an armadillo, for God's sake....???!! There's something about this thread that brings to mind "America's Funniest Videos"...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markcic Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Never believe that your dad has correctly tightened the quick release front wheel on your first shiny new mountain bike you get as a kid. Back in the sixties, the Stingray style bicycle was the rage. I was a wheelie addict and whenever I rode mine around the neighborhood it was pretty much on the rear tire. Forgot to tighten the axle nuts after fixing a front tire flat once. Pulled it up onto my obligatory wheelie and suddenly found myself steering a unicycle as the front rolled off on it's own ;-) I didn’t do anything cool like ride a wheelie or a unicycle. I rode down my very steep driveway, lifted the front wheel for the driveway/street transition, and the next thing I remember was laying in the street gasping for breath with my ghost white parents standing over me with the “oh crap he is dead” look in their face. Apparently when I lifted the handlebars up the front wheel kept going and I landed on the fork and went over the bars then landed square on my chest knocking all the air out of me. As I remember I laid in the street quite awhile because I couldn’t breathe. I had a lovely collar bone to stomach bruise. That was the last time I let my Dad touch my bike, I figured if I was going to get hurt it might as well be my fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 I got away with a sore tailbone because I went over backward after actually thinking I was gonna' ride it that way for a long second, or so ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Yep, it is possible to stab a dilla to death...b4 we were allowed to carry guns on our own, we used to take out sheath knives everywhere with us...they do a great job...hard to do by yourself though..need someone to hold him so you can do the stabbin'...just watch out that the dilla doesn't pull anyone's leg into the way when you are stabbin'...LOL One more...never try to ride a pine tree down which is larger than 5 inches at the base...the top will break out of it 95 times out of a 100...not the best way to get back down... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Dunn Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Another bicycle story... A bunch of neighborhood kids were playing a version of "stop on a dime", where we would blast up my folk's driveway into the garage and slam on the brakes, closest to the back wall of the garage without touching wins. We had it down to where the skid marks were about 4 feet long, the front tire stopping only an inch or two from the wall for it to be a competitive run. Eventually it gets boring so we decide to switch bikes. I can't remeber who's bike I was on, but I remember going full tilt into the garage and at the last second whipping the pedals backward to lock up the coaster brakes.....except the borrowed bike had handlebar brakes. It ended up looking like something on a Saturday morning cartoon. My dad made me fix the garage, surprisingly the bike was fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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