standles Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SHOOTER WHEN... ...you spend more on ammunition than on groceries (easier to do than you think!) ...you think a mortgage is a terrible waste of shooting money. ...people automatically phone you at the gun dealer's before bothering to call you at home. ...you go to the match site anyway on a rainy day just to bitch about the weather. …the smell of bug spray reminds you of summer matches. …you go to divorce court and are willing to give up everything except your reloading equipment and used brass. …you don't remember your anniversary or your mother's birthday, but you know what your match scores have been for the past two and a half years. …your business suits have oversized belt loops. …you can't imagine anybody going on vacation without their range bag. …tan is your favorite color. …you refer to your girlfriend dumping you as a "DQ." …your gun costs more than your car. …you forget to lower your voice when talking to your non-shooting friends. …you know to the foot how many yards it is from your driveway to the range. ...you're named "co-defendant" in your UPS guy's Workman's Comp case. ...you find yourself carting a wagon with a cooler and range bag around with you everywhere you go. ...you double tap the shutter button on your camera when you take a picture. ...your gun shop charges you rent. ...you yell "shooter ready!" while standing in front of a urinal. ...the first number on your phone speed-dialer is to Dillon Precision. ...you won't buy a sports car because there's no room in the trunk for your range gear. ...what everyone thinks is your aftershave is really Hoppe's #9. ...you have no clean towels but your black BDU's are dry-cleaned every week. ...you practice dry-firing in front of your TV during "The Muppets" and "The Simpsons" because primary colors are easier to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 You have AD'ed at least once in your shooting room... Someone you gave a ride to a match shot a hole in your car/truck Your favorite topic of conversation with your shooting buds is how to best game a stage You'd rather watch the TT reload video than the VS lingerie show Your shooting belt cost 2 or 3 times what your dress belt did You have enough ear muffs to take the entire neighborhood to the range You don't think 5 k loaded rounds is nearly enough Your spouse thinks you are looking at porn in your gun room you are there so much You schedule your vacation around the Natl's or Area shoots You get put out when "her" girl friends don't know who TGO is You have many mayo jars of spent primers You cried when Hensley & Gibbs went out of business Your 'smith is first on your Christmas card list You present your spouse with a Dillon catalogue to find your Christmas gifts You'd rather talk about the Dillon Cover girls than those on Playboy You often wonder if Margaritas could be improved by adding a pinch of Bullseye You think nothing of driving to work in your shooting glasses with amber lenses yr round You have 4 dozen different recoil springs but only 3 pair of sox Your spouse thinks the money you send to Montana Gold is in support of a mining effort Your hands form the perfect shooting grip at a cocktail party when not holding a drink There may be more, will post them later.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterLefty Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Your hood ornament is a red dot sight. Kenny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 The voicemail message on my cell phone is... "Caller ready? Stand-by. , Then the beep from my timer." It's amazing shooters know exactly what to do, and non-shooters also know exactly what to do, they just aren't sure why! ...The only thing you ask for, is gift certificates from Shooters Connection. Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidball Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 . . . you recognize only two seasons - match season and dry-fire season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standles Posted December 20, 2005 Author Share Posted December 20, 2005 I like the red dot sight on the hood idea. I might have to implement that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Your Internet browser's home page is BrianEnos.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wlktheduk Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you. You consider concealed carry any time you shop for clothes (and you are a very happy & lucky person if your significant other considers that too, when they shop for you ) You have Brownells on speed dial (or Dillon, or Midway, or....) When BATFE shows up at the house, and says they want to talk to you about your gun purchases, you say: "I'll tell you anything you want to know, just don't tell my wife!!!" When the local news headline reads: "Police discover arsenal of weapons" and you think: "Hope that wasn't my house" followed by" "You call that an arsenal? I take more then that to the range everytime I practice...." Your guns and range bag are worth more then the car you're driving to the range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uscbigdawg Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 (edited) - Whenever anyone asks you how much something weighs you give it to them in grains instead of pounds. - You can spit the Ventouri jet principle and how it relates to Open guns like it's The Pledge of Allegance - One arm is SIGNIFICANTLY leaner than the other (working the press). - The dog wears a helmet from falling mags. - You know the location of every lightswitch in your house and the split times between them - Holiday one: If someone asks you how tall your Christmas tree is, you ask do you want OAL (i.e. including the stand and star/angel)? - Empty tubes of Pro-Grip make great ornaments! - The Dillon and Brownells catalogs are your ONLY coffee table books. SPC Richard A. White, Senior Medic 249th MP Detachment (EACF) Camp Humphreys, ROK Edited December 20, 2005 by uscbigdawg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 If you have had at least one primer detonation in you loading press. (or a whole tube ) dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilTerry Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 The file with all the receipts is in your office at work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m.e.t. Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 (edited) The UPS guy delivers 20k bullets and asks you how long they will last. You say 2 to 3 months and he does not believe you untill he is delivering the next 20k two months later. Your 5 year old grand daughter recites gun safety rules to her other grand dad. You have written permission from your wife to remove your wedding ring when dry firing. The darn thing hurts the 20th time it smacks your knuckle let alone the 200th time. It is not considered weird by your co-workers. That when opening the door into the shop you mimic shooting all of the tire machines while moving across the shop. The local police don't want you to shoot with them anymore. Sore loosers. Hey you shot a Sig just like theirs. Well it looked like theirs on the outside.....(: You purchased heavy duty industrial shelving to hold the boxes of your brass. Your excited when one of your non shooting friends buys a new Dillion, cause you know you will be buying it at a huge discount in a few months. He is the founding member of the hobby of the month club. Shooters Connection and Powder Valley are the only charges listed on your credit card bill 6 months running. Your family asks if there are any big matches the first weekend in August. And if not can you come to the reunion. You drive 2 hours one way for every match you shoot. And are thrilled to do it. Not just for the shooting but to share the day with the best group of people you have ever known. Out shooting certain members of this group is a big draw also. Edited December 21, 2005 by m.e.t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Your spell checker can recognise Vihtavuori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout454 Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 You firmly believe that a golf course is the wanton, criminal waste of a perfectly good rifle range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waltermitty Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 You think a trip to Barry Il in July qualifies as the "Family Trip" your wife wanted to take last year.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airic Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 You tell your wife your going to buy christmas presents for her and the kids....and you go to the gun shop to try out the 2 new guns your gonna buy in two weeks. (ya...thats what I did today) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 "You'd rather watch the TT reload video than the VS lingerie show" --tightloop TL, you're lying!! So, you whip out little wallet-sized photos from your pocket collection and they're not of your family or kids, they're photos of your guns....... You're female and you want to impress (or freak out) a male visitor. You say, "Wanna see my reloader...??" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Cheely Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 When your wallpaper is a white background with lots of little IPSC targets all over. When moving into a new apartment, you measure the closet to see if your dillion can fit inside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shred Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 ...the dimensions of your safe dictate which house you buy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman33_99 Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 After a date with your GF, she tells you to "unload and show clear" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 - you find empty cases and loose rounds in the washing machine after your jeans are washed - you need more than one box to hold the T-shirts from matches you've been to - you think any belt under an inch and a half by a quarter inch is wimpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcoliver Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 At one point, you wish your wife/GF used Hoppes #9 for perfume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8shooter Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 You calculate exactly how many matches you can squeeze into your allocated annual holiday time at the start of the year. The head of security for Qantas knows you by first name from travelling on flights with firearms so often. When you "game" shootings on the news, and describe a better way to have completed the course of fire. When it a meeting thinking .... I could hit that .... I could hit that .... etc. When your neighbours constantly ask ..."whats that clicking sound" You can't sleep without the hum of a tumbler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigbadaboom Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 You jump up in the middle of the theater while whatching some action flick and yell "A SEMI-AUTO WON'T CLICK WHEN THE TRIGGER IS PULLED WHILE THE SLIDE IS LOCKED TO THE REAR". (Yes, I have done this) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Siggy I might have done that 25 yrs ago, but I have to admit to being a "dirty old man"... You caught me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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